KFC, Kaiba Filming Corporation
by Mira Nova 23
Summary: Kaiba's diversifying KC to do commercials, etc. for things like Verizon, NHL, identity theft, etc. & he's drafted the gang as actors. Yep- crazy...
1. First Day on the Job

**Kaiba Filming Corporation  
**_First Day on the Job_  
  
Kaiba- [pushes button on trenchcoat, suit appears]  
  
suit- "Mr. Kaiba owns all of Kaiba Corp., is the director and producer etc. of the Kaiba Corp. Filming Industries, and is high on LSD at the moment. The authoress owns nothing." [disappears]  
  
[authoress cries]  
  
Kaiba- "Ok, K-F-C people... lol! KFC! Anyway, our first client for the advertising, uh, stuff, is Verizon... Hey cool! Check it- virtual horizon, Verizon! Whoa..."  
  
gang- O.o  
  
Kaiba- "Alrighty, where's the lion from Ishizu's museum?"  
  
Ishizu- [comes out w/ lion] "Kaiba, I did _not_ get this lion from the museum because like I tried to explain like a zillion times, there are _no_ lions in-"  
  
Marik- "My butt!"  
  
Ishizu- O.o  
  
Marik- "The lion bit me!"  
  
Kaiba- "Yo, just get the lion ready for his big part. Oh, yeah, and maybe that guy too." [points to Joey]  
  
_Action!_  
  
Joey- [walks onscreen holding a cell phone to his ear] "Can you hear me now?"  
  
someone offscreen- "No!"  
  
Joey- "Good!" [walks offscreen]  
  
lion- "Verizon Wireless. We are one."  
  
_Cut!  
_  
Kaiba- "Augh, a monkey could do a better job than you, Wheeler! Ishizu, get me a monkey."  
  
_Action!_   
monkey- [walks onscreen holding a banana to his ear] "Oooh-eeh-eh-ooh-eh?... Eah!" [walks offscreen]  
  
_Cut!_  
  
Kaiba- "Much better."  
  
Joey- "It's a fricken monkey!!!"  
  
Kaiba- "My point exactly."  
  
Joey- "Why, you-!!!" [attacks Kaiba]  
  
monkey- "eeh-ooh-ooh-ah!"  
  
lion- "The monkey says 'Please review.'"  
  
Yugi- [eating banana]  
  
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
  
A/N: First takes always suck. I hope they'll get better... this one I personally think sucks and is too slow and drawn out... the others are all rapid fire. Read on at least, please! –


	2. Day 2

**Kaiba Filming Industries  
**  
Kaiba- "Ok, Ice Age preview. Go!"  
  
_Action!_  
  
Joey- "You'll all have to refer to me now as 'Joey, the Flame Swordsman!'"  
  
Tristan- "Hey, Flaming Swordsman, your butt's on fire."  
  
Joey- "AH!!!" [Kaiba throws a bucket of water on him] "Oh! You saved my life! I'll call you 'Kaiba-'"  
  
Kaiba- "'-Lord of touch me and you're dead.'"  
  
_Cut!_

* * *

Yugi- [innocently] "Yami, why are we doing commercials against drugs?"  
  
Yami- "Cuz the government pays Kaiba to do it."_  
  
Action!_  
  
Yami- [takes Yugi's cig away] "I said 'No weed,' and I mean 'No weed!'"  
  
_Cut!_  
  
Yami- "Good job, aibou." [pat on head] "Here ya go."

* * *

Kaiba- "Alright,_ now_ what the hell are we doin? A Looney Toons movie preview? Cripes... It's the one with the ghosts, I think."_  
  
Action!_  
  
hikaris- "Mary had a little lamb-"  
  
yamis- "BUT WE ATE IT!!!"  
  
_Cut!_

* * *

Kaiba- "M&M minis, take 124,863! And give me some, will ya?"  
  
_Action!_  
  
Yugi- "If we go in this tube, maybe the minis will go in their tubes!" [go inside tube, get knocked out window]  
  
Joey- "Hope we don't land in garbage..."  
  
_Cut!_

* * *

_Action!_  
  
Tea- "Next week on National Geographic, don't miss- huh?- 'Why Joey is an overgrown monkey'?! Who wrote this?!"   
  
Kaiba- [snickers]  
  
_Cut!_

* * *

_Action!_  
  
Tea- "Coming up next on the National Geographic Channel- what?! Dueling Dogs, starring Joey?!" [shows pic of Joey in dog suit] "Kaiba!!"  
  
_Cut!_  
  
Duke- [hi-5s Kaiba] "Ah, yeah! This is fun!"  
  
Kaiba- "Yep."  
  
Tristan- "Well makin fun of Joey's always fun."  
  
Kaiba- "Heh-heh, yeah guys..." [grabs them both] "But it's not free! Now stay away from Serenity! She's MINE!"  
  
Serenity- o.o

* * *

_Action!_  
  
Johnson from big 5- "Because we didn't upgrade to digital, we're now broke. Rather than resign, I've hired a professional scapegoat."  
  
Joey- "Go, Scapegoat!"  
  
_Cut!_  
  
Kaiba- "Kaiba Corp. is NOT broke! And everything is most definitely digital, even my coat! You're fired!" [does Trump hand thing, then shoots Johnson]  
  
Joey- "Uh, Kaiba, he was doin the commercial for Canon Business Solutions..."  
  
Kaiba- "Oh. Oh well."

_

* * *

Action!_  
  
Tea- "It's Shark Week on the Discovery Channel!"  
  
Mako- [pops up standing on the nose of a shark]  
  
Tea- -.-'  
  
_Cut!_

* * *

_Action!_  
  
Kaiba- [makes himself sound different] "Oh no, Joey! Timmy fell down the well!"  
  
_Cut!_  
  
Yami- "You baka! It's 'Lassie,' not 'Joey!'"  
  
Kaiba- "What's the difference?"  
  
Tea- [pops up with Joey and a chart of a dog]  
  
Kaiba- -.-' "Sorry I asked..."  
  
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
  
A/N: Is this random order good? If I lump the commercials for the same thing together to much it'll get monotonous. This is their original order, as they came to me from the commercials I was watching one night. Then again my dad was flipping channels... Any favorites? Please review! 


	3. Day 3

**KFC, Kaiba Filming Corporation**  
  
Tea- "Welcome back to TLC's Great Pyramid Special! I'm outside here with Dr. Zahi Hawass and it's 3:00 in the afternoon, even though we keep switching back to him at 10:00 tonight inside the pyramid but you're not supposed to know that- so now let's meet the Pharoh himself!" [leans mic to Yugi to speak]  
  
Yugi- [gets flustered] "Uh, I'm not the Pharaoh! What are you talking about, heh heh?" n.nU  
  
_Cut!  
  
Action!  
  
_Yami- "Yes, hello Tea. But I'm still not the Pharaoh that built that thing, the whatchamacallit, the Great Pyramid."  
  
_Cut!  
  
Action!  
  
_Tea- [anxious] "And the rover is getting closer to the end of the passage... It's almost there..."   
  
[...2 hours later...]  
  
Yami- "Uh, it's another wall..."  
  
Tea- -.-'  
  
some guy working on the expedition with a cute butt- [goes over to Tea] "Hey there, sweetie. Ya know, these kind of setbacks happen to everybody. Don't be so hard on yourself, hon." [moving in] "C'mon, I can show you some really secret rooms in the dark where no one could find us..." [wink]  
  
Tea- -.-' . "I QUIT!!!"  
  
_Cut!_  
  
Kaiba- "TEA!!! We were _live_ on _worldwide_ _television!_ You canNOT quit Kaiba Corp while live on worldwide television!!! You're fired!" [does Trump hand thing]  
  
Tea- [goes off with guy, mumbling] "Yeah, well he's got a cuter butt than you anyway..."  
  
Kaiba- "What was that?!"  
  
Tea- "Ah, stuff it, ya #&)%!"

* * *

Kaiba- "Make up!"  
  
Mai- [dressed in a Tour Guide Barbie ® outfit wearing a Duel Disk] "Shutup, Kaiba! I do not need any help with _my_ good looks." /_you_ on the other hand.../ [walks past Kaiba, standing slouched yet authoritative as always] /ooh, forget what I said- Tea is right, he _does_ have a nice ass.../  
  
Kaiba- "Fine whatever. You're on!" /at least she does look good.../  
  
Joey- [punches Kaiba]  
  
Kaiba- "Ouf! What the hell was that for?!"  
  
Joey- "I don't know, but I had a feeling I needed to punch you just then."  
  
Kaiba- /NOOO!!! Can he read my mind too like Pegasus?!?!?! O.O/  
  
_Action!  
  
_Mai- "Hi ya! I'm Tour Guide Barbie ® here for Kaiba Corp. to let you know all about their newest product, the Duel Disk!" [holds up arm]  
  
Joey- [cameraman; zooms in on her chest]  
  
Yami- "Joey!"  
  
_Cut!  
  
_Joey- "Aw, c'mon Yuge, I woulda let you look too if ya wanted..."  
  
Mai- [grabs camera and whacks Joey over the head with it] "Hmph."  
  
Joey- [passes out]  
  
Yami- LOL!

* * *

_Action!  
  
_[Bakura, Yami Marik, Kaiba, and Pegasus have the whole YGO cast held hostage in some building; it's a thirst-scorching hot day]  
  
cop- [pops open a glass Coca Cola bottle]  
  
bottle- "ffzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....."  
  
[Bakura, Yami Marik, Kaiba, and Pegasus start drooling, rush out to get a Coke, and are arrested]_  
  
Cut!_

* * *

Kaiba- O.o "A Goofy Movie preview??? Uhuh..."  
  
_Action!_  
  
Yugi- "Not bigger than Yami, the Mambo King!" [goes yami]  
  
Yami- [dancing with Pegasus's secretary] "Mambo, mambo, mambo!"  
  
Pegasus- o.O  
  
_Cut!  
  
_''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
  
A/N: Dr. Zahi Hawass is a real Egyptologist/archaeologist. And yes, I watched a documentary that was _just_ like that. Well, ok, I did exaggerate a bit, but I really did see a guy like that. n.n' Please review!  
  
Next: Hockey season commercials! 


End file.
